Remember the magical cat we adopted that I wrote about before? I thought I should give you a few updates…

He stopped disappearing, so he really isn’t a magical cat, and that pissed me off. I wanted to own a magical cat, that could just disappear at will, but now I realize that he is just a normal, average, very typical cat, that can find little secret hiding places when he doesn’t want me to pet him.

I’m disappointed, for reals. He seemed so much cooler when he could disappear. I started to think of all the marketing angles I could promote a magical cat, and he failed my business plan.

The lack of his magical skills, and his extreme desire to walk on me all.night.long, while I am trying to sleep, makes me want to post a listing on CraigsList….free to good home/please take this bastard cat. He is a beautiful cat and his fur is the softest kitty fur I have ever felt, but if I wanted to be kept awake all night I would smoke crack, or give birth to a baby. Neither of which is going to EVER happen.

But really. When I go to bed, it’s your time to go to bed. Don’t walk on me, don’t cuddle up between my legs, and please don’t run around the house making your meow bastard sound. No one cares. You are a cat. Eat your food, drink your water, use your litter box, and find a place to sleep that won’t keep me up all night.

Seriously.

You’ve been warned.

cats, kittens, cat, kitty, magical cat, bastard cat

On this day..

• Inventor of Top Ramen Dies - 2007
• Cats That Look Like Hitler - 2007
• Hawaii Condo - 2007
• Robert Anton Wilson Leaves Us - 2007
• MySpace Editor - 2007
• Can't Sleep - 2007
• I See You - 2007