The most scariest freaking thing in the world happen to me this morning.

I was admiring my skin in the mirror thinking to myself, “Wow self…that moisturizer is doing a good job. Your skin is looking really good lately, but you might want to use a Biore strip on those nose black heads,” when the HUGEST.HAIRIEST.BLACKEST fucking spider EVER crawled down the side of my hair turbine that had been on my head for at least 5 minutes.

I screamed at the top of my lungs, “MICHAEL MICHAEL MICHAEL - OMG OMG OMG” and started ripping off my turbine, my robe, my slippers, everything. He came storming in the bathroom thinking I was dying and right behind him were both cats all wide eyed wondering what the hell this crazy woman was doing.

I was SCREAMING - PRANCING - JUMPING around and hiding in the closet pointing to the turbine on the ground, “KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT”. Then I started hyperventilating.

That just scared the hell outta me. This thing looked like a prop for a haunted house. It was GIMONGOUS! Happy Halloween!

On this day..

• DisclosurePolicy.org - 2006
• Quiznos Consumer Focus Groups - 2006
• Moby New York New York Video - 2006
• Checking In - 2007