Julie's Journal

The other day I was thinking about the time when we finally we were able to get away from the day-to-day and go on vacation! We just made it across the Utah border and that short little “Mr Clean” looking guy with a flock of sheep crossed the road. It was taking so long for them to all cross we turned off onto a winding dirt road before we fell asleep. The car was kicking up so much dirt that we lost ourselves in it but we managed to find our way to another highway which was just outside a small town. We pulled over to a 76 station to ask for directions because we were off the map on my GPS. I knew the lake was still 100 miles away as the crow flies, but I had no clue how to get back to the highway! Of course that was the best time for a potty break so we went around the back to use the restrooms but the door were locked. We asked the kid for a key be he insisted that it should be unlocked or that someone was in there. Next thing you know 20 minutes goes by while we were looking at all mormon collector plates and shot glasses laughing how they were trying to spread the word of god through all this. Now we really had to go! We ran around back but the door was still locked and no one answered our knocking. The kid thought it was odd so he grabbed a full keyring and went out back. We heard a loud yell so we ran back there and found the attendant laughing his ass off. There was this little boy who had his finger stuck in the faucet and he was too embarrassed to call out for help. Oh yeah, good times.

Do you remember the time we got arrested for flashing our titties outside the Bellagio? I never, ever want to see the inside of the Las Vegas jail again. I can’t believe they accused you of being a prostitute and me of being your lesbian pimp!

Oh Julie’s readers, have I got a gem for you. You see, one of my fondest “Julie & Me” memories is also probably Julie’s LEAST fondest. Ah, but that’s the breaks, kids!

Anyway, this story goes back a few years to the summer Julie and I were both thinking about joining the monastery. During one of our women’s bible study meetings, we had simultaneously come to the same conclusion that we needed to practice celibacy and devote our lives to God. It was a beautiful thing. So we went off to the closest nun-house to get ourself acquainted with their ways. The sisters greeted us warmly and invited us in for coffee, tea and fellowship. We were both a little surprised at how beautiful these nuns were and how much makeup they had on, but figured it was just a Vegas thing. After a short while, the conversation started to take a weird turn – they were asking us about our habits, and not the kind you wear, either. They wanted to know about our sexual habits and proclivities. We both started getting a little uncomfortable and it started to dawn on us that this place wasn’t quite what we thought it was. Right about that time, I caught a glimpse through the sheer-curtained window of a group of men coming in the front door and being rather, uh, warmly welcomed by a few of the sisters. Just then it hit me – I could have my cake and eat it, too, here. I could be a “nun” and not take the celibacy vow. I strongly felt that God had led me here for a reason! Julie had figured out we weren’t in a monastery and wanted to get the hell out of there and couldn’t believe it when I told her I thought I had found my true calling. She left in a huff to go home and pray for me. I think her prayers have been answered, because I’ve never been happier! Julie never got over the shock of my conversion, however, and hasn’t been quite the same since. Poor girl.

Remember the wild ride late at night in the back seat…oh wait, that was true LOL.

So remember the night at the Stratosphere, going on the ride. We were flirting with the cute ones in front of us, and all was looking good. Then the ride started and you ended up throwing up all over them? Funny how that ended up